Man ... Dudes Need Wills!
I plan on living until I’m 100 years old. I think I’ll probably pull it off but – if and when I do – I’ll have beat my current family average by more than 25 years. In my case, those low numbers have more to do with the indiscriminate use of butter and cigarettes than hereditary conditions. I figure – if I can take it easy on the foods I love, avoid falling off the side of a mountain, and not get eaten by a grizzly bear on one of my many adventures – I’ll at least make a good run at it.
At the same time, I’ve got a bit of a “hero complex” that could bring me to a swift end. I grew up in a town of 1800 people and had a high school graduating class of 29. I was the shortest, smallest boy in my class. Academically, I was ahead of the curve. In most other ways, I viewed myself as being miles behind.
Despite all that, I spent a lot of time daydreaming about being a hero. Sitting in class, I would imagine just how I would save everyone if a shooter came through the door. At home, I would pace around the house imagining what I would do if our town were invaded and under what circumstances I would be willing to sacrifice myself.
Before we get carried away – I think these things are normal, especially for boys in a rural American community. Like it or not, rural America is by and large a place where most people adhere to traditional gender roles. Whether you think it’s a pattern derived from genetics or learned behavior is irrelevant. If you could take an honest poll of a classroom full of boys in any of the Easternmost Counties of the Westernmost states or the Westernmost Counties of the Easternmost states, you’d find the same thing – there’s a lot of boys that want to be heroes.
To make a long story short, somewhere amidst that rural upbringing – and in between watching The Lion King and a few Liam Neeson movies – I decided there were people I would die for if the circumstances arose.
I think a lot of men have these same feelings. On one hand, they feel invincible. On the other, they contemplate dying like a martyr on a daily basis.
Here’s the deal. If you’re a dude, take a moment to think about how many hours of your life you’ve spent daydreaming about being a sacrificial lamb. Now, take a moment to think about how many hours of your life you’ve spent imagining what might happen to the people you leave behind. I’m guessing the latter part hasn’t taken up much time.
Realistically, you’re probably going to live one hell of an awesome long life. You’re probably not going to have to pull in front of a semi to save a bus full of school children, use yourself as a human shield to protect a loved one from an active shooter, or die while rescuing a vacationing relative from being kidnapped by a local gang. But, in the event you do, – and you’ve got stuff, children, or people you care about – it would probably be nice to know that it’s all taken care of when you’re gone.
Here are three concerning things that might happen if you die without a will:
If you’re not married but you’re in a committed relationship, your partner/fiancé won’t get a dime.
If you’re married and have living parents, your spouse might only get half of your separate property – some of the things you acquired before getting married, received as a gift, or inherited might end up with your folks instead of your spouse.
A judge will determine guardianship of your children without taking into consideration what you would have wanted.
I charge $900 to write a will. That’s a pretty penny when you’ve got 70+ years to go. The thing is, you’re not buying a will. You’re buying peace of mind … for you and the people you care about.
If you’re in California or Washington and it’s worth it to you, feel free to reach out. If you’re in a different state, I encourage you to find an attorney to help you. Remember that you’re buying peace of mind, not a piece of paper. Chat GPT and Legal Zoom might save you some money but a will isn’t worth the paper it’s written on if it isn’t done properly.
– Tyler O’Brien –
